Satirical Essay

11/19/12 English III Homelessness has been an issue of much dispute throughout time, regardless of whether it is in present day Portland, Maine or in the ancient city of Rome, Italy. People have been trying to aid the wanderers for a very long time, but clearly, have never found a good solution to the problem. People are sick and tired of walking out of their door in the morning and finding a vagrant, still reeking of alcohol which they purchased with a good Samaritan’s donation, on their stoop.
The people fortunate enough to have a home and a good job should not have to suffer when they walk down the street past hobos begging for a few dollars. It is not fair that the wealthy have to interact with the dregs of society on a daily basis. This problem has to be dealt with. That is why I propose that our society is in much need of the program, Clean Up The Streets (CUTS). The program resolves many different aspects of the issue . If the homeless are sent to landfills to collect cardboard and other material in which they can build their own houses with, this gets them out of sight of the wealthy.
In addition to removing the homeless from our lives, it also aids the environment. With this new program, hobos are given a job in which they remove materials from landfills which they can then use to build shelters with. Yearly, Americans throw away 30. 9 tons of good food; this will make wasteful people feel as if they are actually helping people when they throw away unappreciated food. This also means that there will be plenty of food for the newly housed and employed people. Also, about $1 billion dollars worth of medicine is thrown out each year, so illness will be quelled as well.

The new CUTS program is flawless; it resolves the issues of Grinnell 2 vagabondage, employment, and environmental problems. In today’s society, the homeless only get in our way. This is why it is imperative that the CUTS program be accepted. The first step in cleaning up our streets is housing the homeless. We can do this without donating half of our yearly salary to some hopeless program that supposedly builds fancy houses for the lesser people. With the CUTS program, all homeless are sent to landfills where they salvage our waste. This is very beneficiary to both arties of society. The primary goal of the CUTS program is to house every single homeless person in America, and we can do this without taxing the rich to give to the poor. They (society’s privileged few) can now feel good about themselves when they throw away their trash, knowing it’s going to a good place. In our current economic state, it is more important than ever to improve employment rates. The homeless are to blame for a good portion of the unemployment rate. If the CUTS program was to be accepted, the unemployment rate would drop, drastically.
A secondary goal of CUTS, which goes hand in hand with the other objectives, is to employ the homeless at landfills across America. Their work would entail searching for waste products. They would only have to salvage 100 lbs of trash a week in order to stay employed and housed. Due to the age of technology, we are learning more and more about our planet. For example, we have learned about how bad America’s gluttony is. With only 6% of the world’s population, Americans generate 35% of the trash and consume 35% of the world’s resources.
With the introduction of the CUTS program, who knows what those statistics will look like in just ten years. The program’s participants will be working, getting free Grinnell 3 food, and also helping save the world in the process. With hundreds of people in their own little community landfills sifting through trash and filth, unimaginable amounts of waste could be reused in the future. The CUTS program could resolve three very current issues if it were to be accepted; homelessness, employment, and environmental problems. Although the flawless solution could be considered inhumane, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The humanity comes in because the homeless are not equal to the citizens residing in the upper class, mostly because they do not pay taxes or work. Why should good tax paying people (who work hard for what they have) be forced to give money to people who have nothing and don’t work? Why should those who work hard have to suffer because of the slackers of society? They shouldn’t. They are much better suited working hard, just like the upper class does, and contributing to society, instead of bumming on the streets. Remember, “one mans trash is another mans treasure”.