Stress management and prevention

PERSONAL CHANGE

Chapter 7

Objectives

After reading this chapter, you should be able to:

Identify factors that influence our view of change

Differentiate individual behaviors and characteristics according to Prochaska’s Stages of Change model

Summarize factors to consider when faced with a decision

Recognize components necessary to sustain behavior change

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What Would You Like to Change?

Ask yourself the following questions:

What am I doing now that I want to stop doing?

What am I not doing now that I want to do?

What am I doing now that I would like to increase?

What am I doing now that I would like to decrease?

Choose one thing you would like to change and write it down.

Introduction

For all of us, each day ushers in all kinds of changes, great and small

Some changes occur without conscious effort

Making changes to manage stress carries an even greater benefit

Increases chances of success in changing health behaviors

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Choosing Change

Things outside of our comfort zone may be stressful

Limited vision due to past experiences (e.g., existing ideas, biases, and fears)

Every time you learn something new, you expand possibilities and enhance coping abilities

Expanded range of knowledge and capacity to grow

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Write-down: Choosing Change

What is the biggest change you have experienced in your life?

Whenever you stretch yourself to understand another point of view, you change your range of knowledge

When you tackle a challenging task and dare to fail, you change your capacity to grow

Why Change Seems Stressful

Misconception: you have to change who you are for personal change

The problem never is and never will be who you are; the problem—and what you may need to change—is what you do

You are more than the sum of your habits

You can change your behaviors and still feel, not just like yourself but also like the best possible and most complete version of yourself

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What You Need to Know about Change

Personal change:

Demands no prerequisites

Occurs in steps

Proceeds better with scientifically tested tools

Replaces old habits with new skills

Requires time as well as effort

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What You Can and Can’t Change

There are things you cannot change

Example: the weather

To make a change you have to do two things

Repeat new actions in order to forge new connections in the brain

Resist the natural tendency to follow the well-trod path of least resistance

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The Stages of Change

Psychologists have developed many theories about why we do the things we do

Some theories emphasize the role of the unconscious; others focus on the dynamics of our relationships

Prochaska identified various stages that people move through

From being clueless, to conscious, to committed to making a change

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The Stages of Change

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Figure 7.1 The stages of change form a dynamic spiral

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Precontemplation

The person has no intention of making a change

May feel stressed or sense that something is not quite right or not quite the way they want it to be, but have not identified exactly what is wrong

Change remains hypothetical, distant, vague, and seems unlikely

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Contemplation

The person acknowledges that something is amiss

Begins to consider what it is and whether something can be done about it

Still has preference for no change

Realizes that reality cannot be avoided

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Are You Contemplating a Change?

The way you talk to yourself expresses your feeling that change is necessary but demonstrates lack of commitment

Examples of how the contemplation stage sounds:

“I’ve got to do something about this”

“I can’t go on this way”

“I hate that I keep . . .” or “I should . . .”

“I’m fed up”

Preparation

The person stops flip-flopping, makes a clear decision, and feels a burst of energy

Gathers information, makes phone calls, researches online, and looks into ways to make the change

Begins to think and act with change specifically in mind, even if something is held back

Becomes internally accustomed to the idea of change and the impact it will make

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Action

The person starts actively modifying behavior according to the plan

Resolve is strong, and he knows he is on the way to being a better version of himself

Change produces signs that are visible to others

Things mulled over and incubated for years unfold quickly

Sense of comfort and ease with the change is acquired

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Maintenance

The person enters the stabilizing stage, locking in and consolidating gains

Necessary to retain what was worked for and to make change permanent

Strengthens, enhances, and extends the changes initiated

Brings remaining things into line with the change to support it

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Relapse

Relapse or reverting to old behaviors

Often part of the process of change

Behavioral change is a process rather than a one-time event

People often spiral through the various stages several times before the desired change becomes stable

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Check-in: The Stages of Change

Read through the descriptions of the stages of change again, and ask yourself: where am I?

Precontemplation

Contemplation

Preparation

Action

Maintenance

Relapse

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Create a Behavioral Change Plan

Fill out the behavioral change worksheet

Share your behavioral change plan with others in a small groups (3-5 people)

I encourage you to choose a change partner or buddy to meet with on a regular basis to share your progress on specific goals and tasks, and set goals for the next check-in. If feeling discouraged, you can turn to your change partner for support and suggestions to keep them moving. If making similar changes—such as improving their fitness—you could arrange to jog together or meet at the gym.

Is This the Best Time to Make a Change?

Yes; if you wait for change to happen spontaneously or for circumstances to change, you will keep waiting

Postponing change is not simply postponing; it is a failure to act

Believing that you missed your chance is a way to justify not changing

There is no one single moment, no one single choice, that defines a life

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Making Personal Change Inevitable

Declaring you cannot change wastes time you could be using to make change inevitable

Change is inevitable—if you do the work

Commit quietly but fully and vow not to stop

Create a concrete plan and break it down into finite steps

Follow the plan consistently

Persist even when you feel you are over your head and when efforts seem to have no apparent effect

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Are You Getting in Your Own Way?

Small patterns migrate from specific situations and grow into big, generalized patterns

Begin to view a simple habit as who you fundamentally are

Achieving any important, satisfying goal takes time and work

Signing on only for what is immediately fun and easy shrinks life down to a limited range of shallow activities and blocks change

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Changing for Good

Every day you face choices, including the choice of change

Regardless of what you choose, choices have consequences; you can make better choices

Set priorities

Inform yourself

Consider all your options

Tune in to your gut feelings

Consider a worst-case scenario

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Summary

When you deliberately change a nonproductive thought, feeling, or behavior, you are choosing to take control

Your time, health, relationships, achievements, and future

The decision to move from where you are requires a concrete plan

Change takes time but becomes inevitable with persistence

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