Writing

 First paper Narrative  Feedback There are missing pieces of punctuation here. There are too many run-on sentences and missing words.

Second paper/  Compare and Contast Final Feedback

Indent paragraphs. Please be sure all paragraphs are double-spaced

-Understudies? I don’t understand what this is. Only in acting is there a definition of an “understudy” whose role is to replace the main actor if something goes wrong.

There are sentences here that are missing punctuation. There are sentences here that are unclear. T

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Deandre Robertson

Professor Wright

Course: Foundation Writing

22 March 202

2

Title of My First Pet
When I was 12 years old I always wanted for my 13th birthday. One day I asked my mom if I

can have a dog for my birthday she said yes but you have to take care of it. It is your responsibility,

not mine. I was so excited that we went to the pet store on the same day that I asked. I went to a

pet store and I saw all these nice dogs it was so hard to choose. I decided to pick a Rockwell and it

was a boy dog. My dog’s name was Mookie and he was 4 years old. Mookie and I got very close

every since I got it. Mookie was loving, sweet, and protective and I loved my dog very much. It

was the best gift ever got.

In the middle night, I heard a loud noise it sounded like someone was robbing my house so I went

downstairs to go see. It was a robbery stealing our stuff and I am getting on the robber’s back trying

to get our stuff back. The robber slams me slow me on the couch very hard and Mookie came to

rescue me and he bit the robber’s leg the robber dropped my stuff ran outside so quickly the

robbery didn’t come back to. The police knocked on the door and my mom came downstairs said

what’s going on here. I said got attacked Mookie came to rescue me and my mom told the police

officer weren’t aware were sleeping and she said you okay are you hurt? I said mom I’m okay. My

mom said I’m glad we have a dog for protection and that you are okay. So I describe what the

robber looks like to the police officer. So the police officer took notes said we will come in the

morning to check on you and update you. Mookie and I went back upstairs. I went back to my

Ahmad Wright
of the

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no punctuation

Ahmad Wright
could

Ahmad Wright
comma

Ahmad Wright
comma

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room. Mookie slept next to me and I felt so protected from him. The next morning the police

knocked on the door checked on us and we were fine. They said got the robber handcuffed so you

don’t worry about him anymore. We said thank you, police officer, we appreciated it.

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Jasmin Linthicum

Professor Wright

Foundation Writing

22 March 202

2

High School Vs. College

Secondary school is a period of investigation, disclosure, and learning. Notwithstanding, most
understudies don’t know that school will be a completely unique encounter. Universities give a free
climate to figuring out how to understudies when contrasted with the confined air of schools.
Schools are additionally playing a major part to instill discipline in understudies.

School and College time both have their importance in the existence of understudies to shape their

future. Understudies observe schools as to where their opportunity is diminished yet they are

additionally molding their future with the best discipline. Then again, free air with practically no

dread is given by the schools to understudies.No limitations are committed to the understudies at

the College level which is probable entrancing for the understudies. And yet, there are a few

different things that carry on like a bad dream for the alumni and are not faced by the school

participants.

Here we will attempt to analyze the existence of an understudy in school and secondary school to

sort out which is best out of the two. The correlation is done from different angles like the feeling

of opportunity, weight of study, and task separated from discipline and limitations in these

instructive organizations. There are a large number of limitations that are experienced by the

understudies in secondary school like the instructor requesting that they present their coursework

routinely. They should go to each class and can’t stand to go for bunk. More with regards to

Ahmad Wright
Missing punctuation

Ahmad Wright
What do you mean here?

Ahmad Wright
This sentence is unclear

Ahmad Wright
Bunk? What are you talking about here?

Ahmad Wright
no contractions. Use “do not”

Ahmad Wright
Good transition word!

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secondary school understudies they are kept in a polite way and requested to observe the set

guidelines of dressing also.

Running against the norm, there are no such standards of discipline in Colleges where understudies

are allowed to meander around the grounds. Simultaneously, they can take on the appearance of

their desire with next to no limitations. The tasks are given to the alumni on the off chance that not

submitted on cutoff time bring about zero scores and not the furious substance of a teacher like in

schools.

So from the above conversation, we can presume that both school and school are best at their own

place. While understudies learn discipline and routineness in school to do their review they track

down free air in College.

Both are significant according to the advancement of the understudies concerning when the

opportunity is given in the College understudies become ready to apply their learning all the more

adroitly. So school and universities can’t exist is freedom for one another with regards to forming

the profession of an understudy.

Ahmad Wright
This sentence does not make sense.

Ahmad Wright
What are we talking about here?