Gender and Sexuality

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Analyze what you learned from the Voices of Diversity video regarding perspectives and experiences of gender and sexuality. What idea, experience, or statement resonated with you the most, and why?
Then, describe your approach to the Privilege for Sale activity and any challenges you encountered in selecting privileges. Describe at least one insight you gained from the activity.
Apply your learning to social work practice with the LGBTQ population and to allyship

Allyshipin Social Work

Allyship in Social Work
Program Transcript

NARRATOR: Recall your childhood and early social situations, perhaps on the

playground or at school. Now, imagine a child who doesn’t quite fit in– no peers to play

with or notice them. Or if they do, they laugh, point, or use derogatory terms. What do

you do? Do you befriend the child who is different? Do you say something? Do you

stand aside and let it continue? Or do you laugh along with the others?

While this example takes place in childhood, the question of being an ally to people who

are different or othered is not confined to that time of life, rather it becomes ever more

important as the situations and stakes become more serious. And it is a social worker’s

ethical and professional responsibility.

So what does it mean to be an ally? Allies notice. They see issues in their environment,

particularly those affecting oppressed populations, issues of inequity, discrimination,

and violence. Allies act. They address issues through action. This might mean

supporting a client, educating others, or advocating for policy change at the macro level.

Allies uplift. They align themselves with and uplift the people and communities around

them. Allies take risks. They are courageous. They recognize that when they speak up,

they may lose status or become targets themselves. But they do so anyway.

Allyship is broad. In social work practice, it could mean anything from responding to

racial microaggressions in a group session, to advocating on the state level for LGBTQ

rights, to examining organizational policies that create barriers for people with

disabilities. Now consider how will you take action. What does being an ally look like for

you?

Voicesof Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality
Program Transcript

KATHY PURNELL: What’s going to happen today is we’re going to have a conversation,

and with us, we have two amazing core faculty members who I’ll ask to introduce

themselves as we focus on gender

and sexuality.

CHRIS COTTEN: My name is Dr. Chris Cotton. I am a core faculty member in Walden’s

MSW program. I have been working for Walden since 2017.

KIM KICK: Hello. I am Dr. Kim Kick. I am the MSW academic program coordinator in the

MSW program, and also a core faculty member. I’ve been with Walden University nearly

eight years now.

KATHY PURNELL: My first question that I want to engage us in is this. The discomfort

around gender and sexuality can often be difficult for some to discuss or even

understand. Why is this? And why is this not as difficult for some?

KIM KICK: There’s quite a few different variables that go into this, but I think one of

them is religious beliefs. So people grow up with different religious beliefs, with different

tolerance levels for talking about gender and sexuality amongst other things. So

depending on the context in which the person comes from with religious beliefs– with

their community, different communities have different thoughts and ideas about gender

and sexuality.

And when you think about this, when do we ever talk– I mean, at least when I was

going to high school, middle school, grammar school, gender and sexuality was never

spoken about. So I don’t think that we give people a context for having this

conversation, and the context they get, that comes from, again, there’s communities, so

it’s kind of a microcosm of this. And that, I think, is one of the main factors that makes

this very difficult for some people, while others that come from perhaps a more open

background are more able and easily engage in this type of conversation.

KATHY PURNELL: Chris, what are your thoughts about that question around why is this

topic– why can it be difficult for some to discuss and for others it’s not?

CHRIS COTTEN: I think a couple of reasons. I would say to begin with, just a general

taboo in our culture here in the United States about talking about sex and sexuality in

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

general. I also think that members of– I guess diverse sexualities and gender identities,

I think that they’re sort of sexualized by members who are not in those communities.

So I think that many people from the dominant culture, when they think of say, gay,

lesbian, bisexual, they’re thinking completely about sex. And I think that makes them

uncomfortable. Of course, people of diverse genders and sexual orientations, we do a

whole lot of other stuff than just having sex, but I think some of the discomfort comes

from people reducing us and sexualizing us in that way.

And in terms of the second part of your question, Kathy, where you asked why is it

easier for some people? I think a lot of it has to do with exposure. I think that that which

we are unfamiliar with tends to make us anxious or scare us. So I think those individuals

who have met people of differing sexual orientations, gender identities, just the

exposure alone helps reduce a lot of that anxiety.

KATHY PURNELL: What is the defining moment or a personal story that you could

briefly share with us today about today’s topic?

CHRIS COTTEN: I would say that the first one is the idea of chosen family. So I think

the idea of chosen family has come out of that LGBTQ+ community, almost certainly it

applies to everyone. And this is the idea that for many of us who belong to these

communities, the LGBTQ+ community, there has been difficulty or tension with our

families of origin.

KATHY PURNELL: Mmm.

CHRIS COTTEN: And as a result of that, we form families of our own that are not blood

families, but are just as strong and supportive as the concept of family as it’s generally

used. So I would say that’s one thing. In terms of– I’ll just briefly mention two other, I

guess, defining moments for me.

One would be HIV/AIDS. I was born in 1959. I grew up in the ’60s and ’70s. And when

HIV/AIDS emerged in our society, I think I was about 21 or 22 years old living in New

York City. And it very much was something, I think, that was really a defining experience

for a lot of members of our community, especially those who have both the loss that we

endured, which was way different than you would expect for someone of that young

age, and the idea of being a survivor of all of that.

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

And then the last thing I’ll mention actually is the 1993 March on Washington. So I

actually participated in that March on Washington. It was about a million LGBTQ+

Americans marching. It was when Bill Clinton was the president. It was right after he

had sort of turned back on a promise to include LGBT– or at least lesbian, gay, bisexual

people in the military.

And that was an incredible, unforgettable experience for me that showed me the

strength that can come in numbers when members of a community, especially a

marginalized community come together. The power was palpable, and I will never, ever

forget it.

KIM KICK: I’d like to build on what Chris just talked about. I was also in 1993 at the

March on Washington. And it was a very powerful experience, and there’s a few

defining moments that come out of that, both positive and negative. I’ll start with the

negative. The negative, I remember, it was hard to book a flight.

So the AIDS epidemic was going on, and they were denying flights to Washington, DC

to a lot of people that they somehow determined were gay, lesbian, bisexual, because

of AIDS and because of the panic, that that had the fear that was– the fear mongering

that took place during that period of time because, of course, it was a punishment for

the gay community. Justly deserved in the eyes of many, especially many fringe

factional religious communities. Really seized upon that as an opportunity to kind of wag

fingers and say, see? We told you so.

Then when we did get flights out and we were headed to Washington, DC. They

removed all the pillows. So the little tiny pillows that you would get in the blankets. So

they didn’t want anything. We were contaminated. So you really felt that. You felt like

you were contaminated. You definitely felt like an other, an outsider, and somebody that

was not wanted. And somebody that was judged just for their mere existence. And I

think that’s an important point for students to remember. When they begin formulating

opinions and attitudes, is the damage that can cause to people. Those are aggressions

against people just for being who they are.

The positives that came out of that were the sense of community, which was

overwhelming, because prior to that, I grew up in a suburb of Chicago. So a defining

moment was, I’d have to go to Chicago to find that family you create as Chris was

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

talking about, and that’s where you would go. You would go to the city, because there

just wasn’t a lot out at that point in the late ’70s, early ’80s, there wasn’t anything in

terms of a support system or a community that we could tap into.

So the closest was to go to Chicago, and I was fortunate to grow up in an area where

that was a pretty easy ride for me. I can’t imagine the experience for others that lived in

very rural areas where they couldn’t find that connection, because that would be a very,

very lonely existence. And at that time, you were made to feel bad about yourself. There

was no positive coming out and saying, I’m gay. That was not positive. That was a

cause of consternation in families, of oh my God, what kind of life have you chosen for

yourself? You know this will be very hard, and worse.

So my family was more on the mild end of that, of, you’ll never have children, it’ll be a

hard life, blah, blah, blah. And just thinking back to that march, there was a lot. The gay

community had definitely felt slapped down by Clinton. So we were doing that. And then

trying to get there, just to get there to get together and make our presence known was

just such a horrible experience. But then landing there and getting there kind of– it was

all worthwhile for sure.

And during the march, I’ll never forget the Holocaust Museum was under construction

and nearing completion. Do you remember that, Chris?

CHRIS COTTEN: I don’t.

KIM KICK: Right. So there were a lot of Nazi, neo-Nazi skinhead protests–

CHRIS COTTEN: Well that I remember.

KIM KICK: When we walked by, they were everywhere. And that was not unusual for us

because Chicago Gay Pride Parade, they’d always be out in the truckloads with the

Nazis screaming and spitting. But I’ll never forget, they were there. And it was kind of a

nice double dip for them, they could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, because

they could be bashing the gay community while they were bashing the Jewish

community because they were protesting in front of the museum that was about to

open.

And I remember just a large gathering, and the momentum kind of changed because we

weren’t going to take it anymore. Normally you’d walk away from people like that. And

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

the momentum changed and it was like we’re done with this. So there was a bit of back

and forth, and then the police had to come in and break that up. But–

CHRIS COTTEN: Yeah, they were vastly outnumbered, these protesters.

KIM KICK: Vastly outnumbered.

CHRIS COTTEN: Which was also an incredible feeling. I remember just shouting them

down, basically.

KIM KICK: Right, right. But we would be spit upon. It wasn’t– they would spit upon you.

So it was a very violent, aggressive experience in some ways, but then a very beautiful

harmonious experience in most ways.

KATHY PURNELL: You’ve done an amazing job at just providing some of the historical

pieces that perhaps students absolutely unaware of, even some of our faculty. Some of

these experiences I was unaware of. But I like how you summed that up in the end.

Although there’s that negative piece, there was some positive memories and

experiences that really empowered both of you.

What are some helpful strategies to encourage culturally responsive practices with the

LGBTQ+ population? Yeah? What are some things that our students and even

educators could do to ensure that we’re doing this right?

KIM KICK: I think one of the things is to set aside biases and preconceived notions that

you’re holding. So the first part is examining yourself. What do you think? What are your

biases? What are your preconceived notions? Where did they come from? Did you

formulate those beliefs on your own? Or were those beliefs that were instilled upon you

by your community, by your family, by your religious institutions, whatever that may be?

So I think that is the first part, is to recognize your preconceived notions, which are

probably inaccurate, and your biases, and then examine where they came from. Really

take a look and try to figure it out.

CHRIS COTTEN: The National Association of Social Workers Code of Ethics is clear

about our mandate to advocate for and support marginalized communities. And when

you talk about gender-diverse individuals and people of diverse sexual orientations,

they fit very squarely into that mandate.

I think what I would say to people also is what I would say when talking about exposure

to any new culture. We are living in a time of incredible access to information. So study.

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

Get out there, read what’s out there. And maybe even more useful than that, I would say

get out into the community. Make some friends who are different than yourself. To me,

that experience of meeting someone that’s a member of a community that you’ve never

been exposed to before is way more powerful than reading dozens of books or articles

about that community.

So LGBTQ+ people, we are everywhere now. So get out there, make friends with

someone at work, go volunteer for your local LGBTQ+ organization. Get out there. It will

reduce the anxiety, and I think it will also open up a wellspring of empathy for folks.

KATHY PURNELL: Yes. Well, I love those ideas. Examining biases where they come

from, evaluating. Do they even have– are they even are they even true? Doing some

research and some immersion experiences. But sometimes this can be frightening for

people who are stuck in their experience.

So while these are really helpful, how can you help somebody get unstuck? Just to take

that initial step? Because these are great, but how do you begin to push someone?

KIM KICK: I think whether you’re talking about the LGBTQ community or if you’re talking

about people from different ethnic backgrounds, or if you’re talking about people from

different socioeconomic statuses, religions, it goes on and on, whatever. Ability, level of

ability. Whatever it may be, you’re in the social work profession.

There is a responsibility both for you personally and an ethical responsibility to, again,

go back and examine those beliefs. And you’re responsible for figuring out how you can

work with others that perhaps have not been in your bubble or in your community.

That’s a responsibility you take on as a social worker.

And if people aren’t willing to take that step and face maybe fears of different groups

that they may have, whether it is LGBTQ or the African-American community, whatever

that is, or people with different levels of ability, you’re responsible for going out and

facing those fears, and educating yourself in some way as we try to educate you here.

But there is a personal responsibility, I think.

And if people don’t want to do that, this might not be the right field. I mean, honestly. We

are out here to work with everyone. We’re not out here to say, oh, I’ll work with this

community, but I don’t like this group and they shouldn’t even be in existence. That’s the

wrong mental attitude to come to social work with.

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

CHRIS COTTEN: I was going to build upon something that Kim said about reflecting a

little bit on where these beliefs came from. Most of us that have negative beliefs about

specific groups. This is– most of the time it has come from our families of origin. I guess

I would ask people, is this serving you? How is this belief serving you right now and is it

something that you– a lot– this applies to so many things about how all of us grew up.

So ask yourself, is this serving me right now? How is it serving me? I can tell you that as

a social worker, it’s not serving you. So I like Kim’s idea about people reflecting on

where some of these beliefs came from and questioning themselves about whether this

is something useful that works for them now, especially professionally, or whether it’s

something they need to reconsider or even discard totally.

KIM KICK: If I could just add something to that. So we know that people tend to

surround themselves with that which they are comfortable. And so that includes what

you read. So we tend to view programs or read things that reinforce our pre-existing

beliefs about the others, whoever that other may be.

So I would challenge people to, if they’re not comfortable, meeting somebody face-to-

face and having a discussion to read something that goes against your frame of

reference. So to get out there and read something that goes against that.

KATHY PURNELL: As we come to a close, I want you both to think about what you

would like students to consider or take away from this discussion. In other words, what

would you want them to know and why?

KIM KICK: I think the biggest thing that I want students to take away from any

discussion on diversity is this notion of needing to hate or dislike another group just

because they are in that group. And we really need to be focusing on the commonalities

we all have, because there are much more things we have in common, whether you’re

gay– identify as gay, bisexual, straight, queer, whatever. We have far more in common

than is different. It’s not that crazy difference.

And that goes the same, again, with all the other groups. Whether it is along racial lines

or whatever. It is that we all share commonalities that far exceed the differences that we

have. And I think that’s important to remember, that the point is to look for the touch

points where we have things in common, and to really remember that this profession is

about helping. It’s a helping professional.

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

Chris used the word marginalized community, and I don’t want to be in a marginalized

community. And I’m sure nobody wants to be a member of a marginalized community,

because it feels crappy. It doesn’t feel good being a marginalized community. So to

remember your words count, what you say, how you say it, words count. And are you–

take a moment to reflect and think before you speak. But again, to remember, we are

much more similar than different.

CHRIS COTTEN: I actually had a flashback to that 1993 March on Washington as Kim

was talking. One of the chants that I remember us chanting in the streets of DC was,

we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it. So that may sound confrontational to people, but

here’s what I would say. Agree or disagree, this is a community that already exists. The

toothpaste is already out of the tube. You can say, I don’t believe that transgender is a

real thing or I don’t believe in this, and it doesn’t matter whether you believe in it or not.

These individuals are out there. You’re going to encounter them in your community.

You’re going to encounter them in social work practice.

And as a social worker, you have an obligation to help people not harm them. We never

want to retraumatize a population that’s already coming in with trauma. So I really feel

like a social workers, you have a choice before you to sort of reject this or accept this.

And I guess the last thing that I think of is oftentimes what I encourage students to do

who are having trouble feeling compassion or empathy for a particular population, is to

reflect a little bit about their own intersectional experiences.

So almost everybody out there has– is a member of a group that has been down or

marginalized at one time or another. If you can tap into that experience and what that

has felt like for you personally, I believe that that can really help open you up to have

empathy for other groups. And just remember, that as long as one of us is down, we’re

basically all down.

KATHY PURNELL: And that is a perfect place for us to pause. And I hope that this

conversation will continue in another realm, because it’s just the beginning. And these

are the types of conversations as we know in our program that need to happen, where

people can hear these experiences. So let’s keep the conversation going. Thank you for

being here today.

Voices of Diversity: Gender and Sexuality

www.TheSafeZoneProject.com

Privilege for Sale

Through this activity, you will explore privilege and, in particular, examine the limited

privileges afforded to certain groups such as the LGBTQ community.

Instructions: What follows is a list of privileges that LGBTQ people often cannot

access. For the purposes of this activity, imagine that you, too, do not have any of the

following privileges. You need to buy them back. Each privilege costs $100, and you

have just $400 to spend. Take 5 minutes to select the ones you will purchase.

1. Celebrating your marriage(s) with your family, friends, and coworkers.

2. Paid leave from your job when grieving the death of your partner(s).

3. Inheriting from your partner(s)/lover(s)/companion(s) automatically after their
death.

4. Having multiple positive TV role models.

5. Sharing health insurance with your partner(s).

6. Being able to find role models of the same sexual orientation.

7. Being able to see your partner(s) immediately if in an accident or emergency.

8. Being able to be promoted in your job without your sexuality playing a factor.

9. Adopting your children.

10. Filing joint tax returns.

11. Able to obtain child custody.

12. Being able to complete forms and paperwork with the information you feel most
accurately communicates who you are.

13. Being able to feel safe in your interactions with police officers.

14. Being able to travel, or show ID in restaurants or bars, without fear you’ll be
rejected.

15. Kissing/hugging/being affectionate in public without threat or punishment.

16. Being able to discuss and have access to multiple family planning options.

17. Not questioning normalcy both sexually and culturally.

18. Reading books or seeing movies about a relationship you wish you could have.

19. Receiving discounted homeowner insurance rates with your recognized partner(s).

20. Raising children without worrying about state intervention.

21. Having others comfort and support you when a relationship ends.

22. Being a foster parent.

23. Using public restrooms without fear of threat or punishment.

24. Being employed as a preschool or elementary school teacher without people
assuming you will “corrupt” the children.

25. Dating the person you desired in your teens.

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www.TheSafeZoneProject.com

26. Raising children without worrying about people rejecting your children because of
your sexuality.

27. Living openly with your partner(s).

28. Receiving validation from your religious community.

29. Being accepted by your neighbors, colleagues, and new friends.

30. Being able to go to a doctor and getting treatment that doesn’t conflict with your
identity.

31. Being able to access social services without fear of discrimination, or being turned
away.

32. Sponsoring your partner(s) for citizenship.

33. Being open and having your partner(s) accepted by your family.

Processing and Reflection

After deciding on the privileges, reflect on the following questions. Then, bring your
thoughts to the Week 6 Discussion.

• How did this activity make you feel?

• How did you go about selecting privileges?

• What on the list surprised you?

• What types of privileges seem to be the most important to you (social, financial,
legal), and why?

• How might this understanding of privilege help in your social work practice with
LGBTQ clients?

Credit line: The Safe Zone Project. (2019, April). Privilege for sale. https://thesafezoneproject.com/wp-
content/uploads/2014/09/Privilege-for-Sale

The Safe Zone Project

https://thesafezoneproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Privilege-for-Sale